Midnights, March: 5

in

Special 1:30 am entry: 

Nothing—nothing—feels worse than listening to your own baby cry. 

“What about inserting hot needles under your toenails and then soaking your feet in lemon juice?” you ask.

Damn, buddy. That escalated. 

Well, is the baby sleeping soundly? Then I shall take the needles, thank you. 

“What if you suggested doing something you thought would be kinda cool and a teenage girl responded with ‘Let's not and say we did’?”

Okay, CALM DOWN, you monster. You can't just throw that phrase around. That shit is lethal.